Posts

Not a Fairytale PART 5

As I've said before, we all know a 'Barry'. We've all met that one strange person, who at first seems popular and charming, but slowly reveals a proclivity for lying and deception. It might not be outright at first, but perhaps a slow reveal where they might steal one of your own stories and turn it into their own, regardless of whether you are there or not. Or perhaps they claimed your ideas, took credit for your work. Did they spin a story that you both know from a perspective that was untrue or hyperbolous? Perhaps the overwhelming sense that they are insulting your intelligence  by telling you a lie that you both know to be a lie? Perhaps it's just a gut feeling that something is not right. Whether Barry's behaviours indicate some sort of personality disorder or not, the extraordinary and absurd lengths he went to to oppress and manipulate his partners speaks volumes for the callous disregard he had for other people's welfare. It was not so much about

Not a Fairytale PART 4

In 2014 the Australian Bureau of Statistics reported that 1 in 4 Australian women had experienced some form of emotional abuse at the hands of their partner. That fraction equates to over 2 million Australian women. 1.2 million men also reported to have experienced emotional abuse from their partners.  The ABS defines emotional abuse as "abuse that occurs when a person is subjected to behaviours or actions (often repeatedly) aimed at preventing or controlling their behaviour, with the intent to cause them emotional harm or fear through manipulation, isolation or intimidation" ( ABS, 2014) . PART 4 - Branching Out Barry had some exciting news. He had met another lovely woman on Tinder called Alexandra. This news was only for his family and Nate, of course. No one else would appreciate the secret like they did. Clearly Georgina and Samara wouldn't understand.  Alexandra, like Samara, was struck by how intense Barry was in his pursuit of her. Although he

Not a Fairytale PART 6 - FINAL

PART 6 - The Fallout Immediately, Georgina received an abusive response from Barry (standard reaction from him whenever questioned). Understandably, Alexandra had been in utter shock after receiving that message and had asked Barry to explain himself. Barry explained that both Samara and Georgina were vindictive , spiteful and manipulative ex-girlfriends who were  all trying to hurt him . To Georgina; Barry was furious that she had upset his 'friend', and reiterated to Georgina that he and Alexandra were just 'friends'. Alexandra, two days later, posted a photo on Instagram of 24 red roses with some unambiguous hashtags, including #longdistance. Georgina told Barry that it was over for good and that surely he was exhausted from all the lying. She offered him the chance to own up and admit to what he had been doing. He continued to deny everything. She told Barry that she knew he was cheating and had proof. He responded with more emotional blackmai

Not a Fairytale PART 3

We're going to continue to go slowly with this story. The emotional impact of revising these details is very difficult for the women involved. What has been incredibly encouraging are the comments of support and the people who have come forward to share their own experiences. It's so SO important for these women to know that they have support and friendship through this. Much love to all the people who have reached out and shared their own stories xxx PART 3 - Explanations Things were getting tricky for poor old Barry. Georgina was still suspicious and questioning him in spite of his rages; Samara was also suspicious and trying to get out, only to be drawn back in. Both were still heavily invested and emotionally entangled with Barry. One evening, Barry told Georgina that he had to go into his old workplace in the city (he had been "made redundant". Again) to have a final meeting. So Georgina got in her car and came to pick me up. We were on our way t

Taking a short breather...

Domestic violence comes in all shapes and forms. It is not necessarily physically violent. It can be the secret and persistent manipulation of another person, until they are completely under that person's control. It is not public. It is very private and mostly friends and family will have no idea that it is going on. If the victim manages to free themselves from their situation, often they are lumped with a legacy of shame and anger and pain. Fear of judgement is a major issue. Rather than questioning the person who channeled years of energy into creating a toxic lifestyle of psychological control and manipulation, the victims themselves are at risk, unfortunately, of becoming the targets of ' misdirected judgement '. Speaking up, telling her story, Georgina is showing an enormous amount of courage. She is laying her entire adult life bare for the benefit of those around her, to show what shape manipulation and control in a relationship can take. DV offenders rely on

Not a Fairytale PART 2

Something that is also important to consider when you read this is that even though I've tried to find some humour in these horrid events; it is a very serious situation of emotional/psychological abuse and manipulation which comes under the umbrella term 'domestic violence'. The further I go writing this, the more gravity it seems to bear. There are many components to this story that indicate something quite sinister, than your standard cheating story.  The people involved should be commended for their bravery in sharing it so openly. It has come at a cost to them. PART 2 - What is Real? And so Georgina and Barry re-committed themselves to working through this hiccup. They moved into their beautiful new home, the entire thing which had been managed and overseen by Georgina. Barry had been caught up being important in  his latest financial job. (No that's not a joke. He actually gives out financial advice when he is entirely incapable of managing his own

Not a Fairytale PART 1

So, many of you already know much of this story. I know it's late - I'M SORRY!! I spent a disproportionate amount of time trying to fit this tale into a modern fairytale. It was just wrong. Nor did it allow me to tell it with the requisite amount of cynicism and scathing disgust it deserves. So I'm just going to tell it how it is instead and hopefully it comes across okay.  The first part is my memory and perspective and opinions to give a bit of back story, because I think it highlights the kind of people who are involved and how they were manipulated. The following parts belong to a girl called Georgina and her friends. It is a massive story (still dragging on too, unfortunately) so it will still have to be put on here in parts. It is a story about survival, sociopaths/narcissists, freedom, cowardice, bravery and finding love and friendship in the most unexpected places.  Here it is... I will post each part over the next 5 days. EDIT **I just have to also point o